Selective Mutism Anxiety Disorder

The information provided on this site is for educational purposes only and does not substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Consult a medical professional or healthcare provider for advice, diagnoses, or treatment. All the Anxieties is not liable for risks or issues associated with using or acting upon the information on this site.

What is Selective Mutism?

Selective Mutism is defined as an anxiety disorder where a person is unable to speak in certain situations or around certain people but is otherwise able to communicate. It is thought that this disorder often begins in childhood and then continues until treated.

What causes Selective Mutism?

The causes of Selective Mutism are technically unknown. However some experts think that there are some likely scenarios that lead to Selective Mutism.

An inherited tendency towards generally anxious behavior, or a family history of anxiety disorders that is combined with a social fear or phobia.
Trauma or traumatic experiences.
An anxiety disorder
Poor family relationships
Untreated psychological issues
Issues with self-esteem
Sound processing issues
A speech or language problem, such as stuttering

As with any other mental or physical health disorder, a family history of this condition increases the likelihood that you or your child may inherit issues with Selective Mutism.

Selective Mutism Signs

We all have times when we fumble for words or are presented with scenarios in which speaking can be difficult due to the stress of the situation, or because of our general ability to function under the stress of the situation. Because of this, Selective Mutism isn’t a diagnosis that is made until at least a month of failing to speak has been observed in certain situations or around certain people.

Selective Mutism is not associated with social communication disorders like Autism.

Other Symptoms of Selective Mutism

Anxiety and anxious behaviors
Social withdrawal
Excessive shyness
Obsessive compulsive behaviors
Depression
Signs of developmental delay (in children)
Communication issues (unclear or incomplete communication)
Problems with elimination (urine or stool)

Who is typically diagnosed with Selective Mutism?

Selective Mutism is usually diagnosed in children around or shortly after age 5. There is some debate about whether or not females are more commonly diagnosed or if this is a gender-views skewed statistic. Adolescents and Adults are less commonly diagnosed.

Selective Mutism in Children

Sometimes parents don’t realize that if a child is failing to speak that it can be Selective Mutism. This lack in understanding can come from the assumption that a child is simply socially awkward or shy. Other times parents might assume that a child is being stubborn or willfully refusing to speak when appropriate.

Whatever the case may be, hopefully if you see a child struggling in certain situations you will be able to recognize it and help them find a way to communicate their struggles to a responsible adult or medical professional.

Selective Mutism in Adults

With increased independence, teens and adults won’t normally want to admit to Selective Mutism as mental health struggles can be met with stigmatization. Also, some people may not realize the extent of their struggles, or may simply associate their inability to speak with other anxiety symptoms instead of recognizing it as an individualized struggle and disorder in its’ own right.

With only 1% of the population to be estimated to suffer from Selective Mutism, it isn’t surprising that many people simply aren’t aware of the diagnosis, or the available treatments.

Selective Mutism Examples

A person speaks freely at home, but struggles around friends, (other) adults, at work, or at school.
A person speaks freely in small groups but fails to speak around specific types of individuals, i.e.: male, female, older, younger, etc.
A person speaks freely out in public but struggles around family members.
A person speaks freely until they are met with someone who intimidates them or reminds them of their issues with self-esteem.
A person speaks freely until they experience problems with stuttering brought on by situations or people.

These are just a few examples, and there are many more out there as there are people who struggle with this disorder.

Selective Mutism Explained

We all experience things differently, and with Selective Mutism this is no different. However, there are a couple of common experiences for people who experience this disorder.

A feeling of heaviness in your chest when you go to speak. This feeling prohibits you from speaking the words that you’d like to speak.
A feeling of being blindsided, and losing your words, when you’re faced with a situation or person that causes you significant anxiety.
A feeling of being physical tongue-tied. Words are there. You’d like to speak them, but your anxiety over the situation has reached such an excruciating level that you physically cannot untie your tongue to speak the words you have at the ready.

Selective Mutism from Trauma

People who have endured trauma or traumatic experiences can develop PTSD or CPTSD. Instead of being able to verbally say what needs saying, and especially in situations that are psychologically necessary for them to be able to speak, people who have had endured trauma can become mute when triggered.

Selective Mutism is a manifestation of the ‘Freeze’ response. Instead of fight, flight, or fawn, you freeze and lose your necessary ability to communicate.

Severe Anxiety Disorder and Selective Mutism

Severe Anxiety Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or other forms of severe anxiety can have an array of symptoms. If you suffer from one of these disorders, selective mutism, while a disorder on its own, may actually be a symptom of your underlying anxiety issues.

Situational Mutism and Anxiety

There may be some situations that make it difficult for you to behave or function at a normal level. When you lose your ability to speak because of a triggering situation, the effects of that situation on your psychological needs, especially how that particular situation affects you, can become compounded.

There’s nothing more frustrating than repeating a situation when you can’t seem to speak or communicate your needs or boundaries. Fears become more deeply ingrained, your mental health suffers with heightened stress levels or repeated trauma, and harmful relationship patterns are perpetuated, even though we want things to stop or change.

I’ve been in situations where it can be difficult to speak because of the overwhelming levels of stress or anxiety those situations cause me. As someone with severe anxiety, I know well that feeling of heaviness in your chest when you want to scream your thoughts or simply yell ‘Stop’ or ‘Leave me alone’ or ‘I can’t talk right now’.

If you know what Selective Mutism feels like and you are struggling with anxiety, I have a few suggestions for how to deal with your struggles.

What to do if you struggle with Selective Mutism and Anxiety

For Situational Causes of Selective Mutism

First off, grab a journal or a note-taking device (laptop, smartphone, etc.)

Make a list of all the situations you fail to speak in.
Write out how these situations make you feel.
Write out what typically happens before these situations occur (if you can) or what the build up to a muting situation looks like.
If applicable, come up with a strategy to help prevent those situations from occurring.
If your triggers are out of your control, try to identify other non-verbal solutions to help you leave those situations or take back your control within those situations.

People-centered Selective Mutism or Social Anxiety

Make a list of people, or types of people that trigger you and cause you to become mute.
Write about how those people make you feel.
Determine whether or not they are a healthy influence in your life. Consider if they would be willing to change their behaviors towards you that are triggering and causing you to become mute.
If they are willing to change their harmful relationship patterns towards you, prepare a time and place for you to discuss your triggers and needs. Approach this conversation with an understanding of your necessary boundaries and psychological needs.
If you need to, write out what you need to say ahead of time in case you find yourself unable to communicate in person and they can then read what you wrote.
Be clear about your struggles and how they’ve affected you in general or with their specific behaviors.
Discuss a strategy to make a meaningful change.
Follow-up and check in with each other as you navigate this new relationship dynamic.

General Advice

Try to find a safe person for you to talk to, someone you never experience selective mutism with or who triggers you.
Share your struggles with them.
If at all possible, find a therapist to communicate your issues to, especially if your mutism is causing you significant issues with relationships, work, or general functionality in public places.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, even if you have to write it down ahead of time.

Conclusion

Selective Mutism is a form of anxiety disorder, not a social communication disorder like Autism. It is treatable. You will need to take time to identify what causes your selective mutism, seek professional help, and devise a strategy to either rearrange your life/relationships or find communication methods that work for you. Selective Mutism is not something that can stop you from living a healthy, fulfilled life, especially if you’re willing to identify the underlying cause of your struggles.

Check out the Selective Mutism Association‘s website to find extra help and resources for yourself or anyone you know who is struggling with this disorder.

What does Selective Mutism feel like to you? Do you know someone with Selective Mutism? How did you or they cope with this disorder? I’d love to hear your stories, as would anyone else who is struggling with Selective Mutism and Anxiety 🙂

May God Bless and Keep You.